Okay so here I' am... is anyone listening??? Shit I wouldn't shocked if no one saw this, I mean being that I never update I wouldn't be shocked if some1 kicked me off of their buddy list. I have found that the only time I have to write is when I’m writing about my mellow-dramas and so I have decided to try and change that and just write. So here I go, have you ever just felt nude like you were being exposed yea that’s how I feel but the only difference between this time and all the other times I have felt this way is now I don’t mind it, it like I have nothing to be ashamed of, I have nothing to hide. It feels like I have matured and changed, shit by this time next year I’ll be moving off to go to some big culinary school. I look at everything I have been through and I sit back and wonder how the hell I got through all I have gotten through these last past 3 years. Now when I say I have gotten through this don't think I’ve been through shit but I some how came out smelling like roses. I have lost some friends, family and hell at one point my sanity and those lost have left marks on me, which I call my battle wounds and like a solider from war I wear them with pride for I know that they represent wars the I have fought and won. These wounds, which cannot be seen, has helped mold me into the person i'am today. At one time in my life a friend asked me about regrets and I told her I had none I told her that I have nothing to feel sorry about because when ever I acted out I was doing it from the heart and I felt right at the time when doing it so it must have been right. God I was stupid now that I look back and I realize I have lost a lot because of that attitude because I was too stupid and pig headed to realize that I was fucking up relationships that met everything to me and although I have begun to repair some of them there are others that well...will be fucked for good and that’s something that I will have to deal with. But there is one person I would like to apologize to and that is KENTON I’m sorry for all I have done and put you through you were there when no one else was, when you looked at me you saw me for me and above all you understood me and for that I thank you for showing me unconditional love, and friendship I will never forget every thing you have taught me about being a good person, and I wish noting but the best for you.
Damn you see what happens when you just start writing, shit I didn’t expect that oh well.
Luv Always Shelly
PS. For everyone who stuck with me through out these last past few years thank you.